Christmas can be a very stressful time, and sometimes we just need to take a few minutes to ourselves, to refocus and relax. See our article on the many types of Christmas stress here, with some ways we can make different choices and have a happy, healthy Christmas. But when there is something we can’t change, we need to pull some tools out of our self care toolkit, so we can be at peace with how things are.
You may already have some tools you use, such as:
- Prayer or meditation
- Yoga or Tai Chi
- Getting away for a short walk outside
- Using some relaxing essential oils, such as orange (Read our full article on essential oils here and scroll down to the new section on holiday gatherings)
Here are a few of our favourite ways to go a bit deeper:
- A trio of tricks for stress “First Aid”
- Emotional Freedom Technique
- Ho’oponopono
- Bonus tip, if you can get hold of some poi, or even if you can’t… – 5 poi “hugs”
“First Aid” tips
These tips won’t go as deep as EFT (below) or other similar techniques, but can be done easily by anyone, anywhere. It’s three techniques rolled into one, so feel free to pick any part of it, or use them all together.
Emotional Stress Release technique
This technique was part of my Touch for Health kinesiology training. We call it “holding the ESR points”. It brings blood to the front part of the brain, and helps get you out of a stressed state.
Put two fingertips on your eyebrows and move up a couple of inches till you find two bumps near the top of the forehead. You can place two fingertips on each, or cover them with both palms, or use one palm to cover both. Whichever is most comfortable for you is fine.
You’ve probably automatically done this many times when feeling agitated, but today we’re going to do it with more awareness. If you need some emotional First Aid, feel free to just clamp your hand on your forehead, any time, anywhere, and it will help. But today, I want you to get into a really relaxed state.
So find a comfortable place where you won’t be disturbed and lie down. Close your eyes, cover your ESR points, and relax.
If a particular thing has been bothering you, let thoughts of that come into your mind. You should find after a while that it doesn’t seem to matter quite as much, and you feel calmer about it.
If it’s more general Christmas stress, let everything float into your mind and float out again – financial worries, all the work you need to do in the next week, stress about what to buy for people, how will the family behave on Xmas Day, or whatever your particular stressors are.
Slow breathing
Slow breathing will help you feel calmer all by itself, but today let’s combine it with the ESRs. Just slowly breathe in and out, through your nose. Don’t make it deep, just relaxed, slow and regular.
To take it to the next level, “watch” your breath. Feel it coming in, and feel it going out. If you focus just on your breath, it can become a meditation. When your mind wanders, bring it back to the breath.
Visualisations
Once you’re feeling more relaxed, you may like to start imagining better outcomes for everything that is stressing you. If you start to feel agitated again, just focus back on your breathing for a while.
Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT)
EFT is an easy to learn and effective tool for dealing with any kind of emotional stress, such as winding down from Xmas stress. This technique has the potential for releasing stresses on a permanent basis, so is great for using ahead of stress that you know will be coming up.
My website has a comprehensive section on EFT, including it’s history, how to learn it and how to use it. Read through it all, or, for a quick start, just read through the shortcut page.
For today, we’re just going to focus on some Christmas stress techniques, and the easiest way to do that is to tap along with some videos on YouTube.
This first one is by Brad Yates. I’ve long been a fan of his work, so who better to take you through a general Xmas tapping routine?
This routine by Rod Sherwin is for sadness, grief, and loneliness from missing someone at Christmas.
On the other hand, our stress is sometimes from being with family at Christmas and Sally Thibault shares some insights on dealing with that.
If you have chosen to have No Contact with family at Christmas, for your own well being, this will be difficult. Dion takes you through some tapping round that.
And finally, this routine is for any time of the year. It’s a morning mini-meditation for releasing and clearing stress. For this one you will need to be familiar with the tapping points. That’s why it’s last – after the others, you will probably be more comfortable with the points.
There are hundreds of tapping routines on YouTube. Whatever your issue, there’s bound to be something that can get you started on your own issues. At some stage, you will need to get a bit more specific. You can then tap yourself using your own words, or see a practitioner.
Know your limits. For everyday and more minor issues, tapping yourself should be safe. If you feel uncomfortable about tackling any particular issue, or are dealing with trauma, always work with a practitioner who can ensure you stay safe.
Ho’oponopono
Another simple but profound technique that comes from the ancient Huna healing tradition of Hawaii. The word ho’oponopono means “make things right” in Hawaiian. It is designed to help people resolve past issues and live a more positive life.
The four powerful forces at work are: Repentance, Forgiveness, Gratitude and Love
At its simplest, all you need to do is focus on the situation or person that is bothering you and say:
- I’m sorry
- Please forgive me
- Thank you
- I love you
There are lots of online resources. This one has a lovely explanation of how to use it and is worth reading to understand this technique better.
5 ways to give yourself a poi hug
I teach Spin Poi. It’s based on traditional poi, but has been adapted to be a whole body, therapeutic exercise that can be easily learnt by children, seniors, or anybody else. It can be done sitting, standing or moving and benefits the body and the brain. (Info about my Wellington and Zoom classes here.)
Poi can also be used as a tool to calm the nervous system. The developer of Spin Poi, Dr Kate Riegle van West, has recently put up two videos to help you. The first is a routine that you can follow along with.
The other is a short with 5 ways to self-hug with poi:
- the classic (poi in one hand)
- hand over hand (double handed)
- pat on the back (two poi)
- the classic with a spin
- two hand swap – first one arm over the top, then the other
If you don’t have any poi, all is not lost. Make your own quickly and easily from a pair of socks and a couple of light weights (instructions here). Or just use a couple of light scarves, and do the same moves, focusing on relaxing into the flow.
Remembering to do it
If you just read this and then go onto the next thing, you won’t remember any of it when you need it.
Half the solution is knowing what to do, and the other half is remembering to do it. So how about practicing it right now?
Take some time to try these out, and see which resonates with you. They are all useful for different times, so choose one, or try them all. When you really need to relax, take a full 10, 20 or even 30 minutes to find your way back to a centred state. You might think you can’t spare that time, but it all comes down to choice. Choose yourself.
Article by Deb
brooklynwellness.nz 